Bill Harbeck's Blog

Who is going to take care of the healing now in Tucson?  The hope is that there is one person that will walk with every individual that has been wounded deeply.  Just ten days after the shooting behavior demonstrates why true healing will be difficult.

Injury and death occur every day in this world.  However, when persons of interest are involved or there is a mass shooting the response and reaction is put on display for the world to observe. The grieving process becomes public. The initial response is a consistent pattern of shock, anger, and resignation. Many emotions are packed into a brief period of time from death to burial.  When the week is up it’s all about getting back to normal. That is a noble desire, but this is a wound to the soul and nothing will be the same.

The healing process of a wounded soul is lengthy and unpredictable.  Grieving is different for each person.  The families of the victims in Tucson will find it difficult to move on today and in the weeks ahead and just get over it.  While public attention will fade quickly time will move slowly for the wounded. 

True healing for the soul is about a personal relationship.  Someone has to walk alongside the wounded one, through the pain.  It takes a long time, genuine commitment, and true compassion.  At best, it takes a fellow survivor.  Can the government provide that?  Can psychologists, psychiatrists, or counselors?  What about the church?  Healing will come when fellow wounded travelers, of which we all are, determine to travel the road with those most recently injured and understand it will require a lot of time, a willingness to sacrifice personal needs, and compassion that will mean hurting together in the walk.  It could be weeks, months, and maybe years. Deep, deep wounds to the soul may never heal.   

Until the nation, the churches, and all of us understand the magnitude of damage done in the injury of the soul and the requirements for genuine healing, there will continue to be momentary obligatory attempts to heal that will fall far short of what hearts need.  Universally we must see the need, surrender the self, and walk with the wounded…however long it takes.  It can only be done, soul with soul.

It is intriguing to observe the observers of the tragedy in Tucson regarding Jared Lee Laughner.  As the details and identity of the shooter trickled out the early commentators conjectured that this must be a “mentally unstable person”.  No one of sound mind could do something like this.  Purely speculating in the early hours of the tragedy Laughner was characterized as a sufferer of mental illness.  Randomly shooting innocent people certainly defies rational thought, but determining a person’s mental abilities without a shred of knowledge or history is rather irresponsible.

Six days out there is still very little information to determine Laughner’s mental state.  That is not deterring observers in the culture from concluding he is mentally ill based on…on what?  Reports use  these descriptors regarding his observed behavior; “creepy, weird, unstable, disturbed loner” as if those quoted have some evidence or inside first hand knowledge of both mental illness and Laughner.

What do you do with the other descriptors from family and friends?  His aunt described him as a beautiful, loving boy.  His girlfriend remembers him as “sweet, caring, and kind”.  Those words are foreign to the mental illness world and yet they come from people who knew him much better than those declaring him mentally unfit.

Just five years ago, Laughner was involved in a “normal” relationship with a “normal” girl.  They did the normal teenage budding romance things.  Movies, parties, high school dances.  Was Laughner suffering from mental illness then?  His break up with his girlfriend did not result in any immediate violent behavior.  Some time after, he began using drugs and alcohol.  Sometime after his behavior started to become erratic.  Did mental illness creep up on him?  Was he genetically disposed to irrational behavior and at a particular age it all kicked in?  Did he just snap for no apparent reason and go from the sweet, caring, kind 16-year-old to a psychopath in just five short years?

It is too early to pass judgement.  It is too soon to render a diagnosis.  Today, Jared Lee Laughner is in prison.  We don’t know if he is saying anything.  We are not privy to information concerning a diagnosis.  We know his behavior is irrational and abnormal.  But we don’t know anything that allows us to declare his mental capacity or state.

Evil manifests itself in many ways.  I will not be surprised as this moves forward and more information is gathered the findings will involve evil.  I will not be surprised that somewhere in Mr. Laughners journey we will discover evil took advantage of him in some defining way.  I will not be surprised to hear that someone betrayed his trust and he could not handle it nor recover.  I will not be surprised that he will be declared mentally coherent, not suffering from mental illness and responsible for his behavior and held accountable for his actions.  It is evil’s desire to destroy the glory of God.  It remains to be known if and what evil changed Jared Lee Laughner overnight.

The pivot point of the paradigm shift of thinking in this country was the 1960s when the culture publicly embraced the idea that God was dead.  If not dead, then at least ineffective and merely just an archaic system of thought left for the superstitious and weak few that desired propping from an ancient crutch.   Following a couple hundred years of questioning the existence of a supreme being, enough “evidence” now existed to declare his demise and joyfully move in an exciting new direction free of his constraints.  How bold. 

Forty years out from the pivot point we witnessed last weekend the difficulty of living this invigorating theory. Who gets to determine whose truth is the truth if truth is unknowable or does not exist? What if one person’s truth imposes on another persons truth?  What if someones truth injures or puts at risk the society as a whole?  Who gets to determine what the consequences will be?

Followers of the old paradigm are holding on with all their might to the idea that for a culture to survive, there must be a universal common acceptance.  There must be accepted standards to which all must submit in order for order to exist.  The followers of the new paradigm are in a quandary.  Submitting to a single rule, or direction limits  freedom, inhibits  desire, and squashes the freedom to be their own truth.  To solve this dilemma followers of the new paradigm contend that they alone have the answer to disturbing events like the massacre in Tucson. But in their contention they violate their  own truth that everyone is entitled to their own truth.  Very disconcerting indeed. 

In light of this slight miscalculation in theory they have determined that it will be necessary to demonstrate that they indeed have the truth and that the rest of the culture is mistaken.  They will silence all those that disagree with whatever means necessary and they will nobly establish a new truth that all truth is acceptable as long as it agrees with their truth, because they are the true purveyors of truth; everyone else is mistaken. Once the new truth is established, all will be well.

The great paradigm shift hasn’t really shifted at all.  We are right back where we were 50 years ago.  We just have a different god.

This weekend we witnessed an event here in Arizona that is hard to comprehend.  Trying to find reason in it escapes me.  What possesses a person to go beyond just thinking evil to actually acting it out?  While I shouldn’t be surprised at the capability of evil to manipulate a person’s heart the dignity of God’s image in me always reacts with shock and awe when it happens. What will we discover in the days ahead?  I have a hunch we will learn how a young man’s depraved nature overruled his dignity.  There but for the grace of God go I.

It is evil’s desire to destroy the glory of God. It can’t.  It can’t because God placed in us at creation, dignity that cannot be ultimately eliminated.  But evil uses unending lies that we are worthless, unappreciated, rejected beings that will only survive if we take life into our own hands.  Man develops a myriad of means to camouflage the pain suffered from hurts experienced in this journey.  Unfortunately evil makes it easy for individuals to accentuate depravity. Accepting and or strengthening dignity in light of the onslaught of evil is very difficult even for the most disciplined followers of the truth. Dignity is presented with masks of etiquette and accomplishment to hide the depravity that bubbles below the surface.  When someone explodes there is shock and awe, but not really surprise. 

While the level of severity of reaction to depravity varies, the feelings and pain generated is the same.  Evil desires us to eliminate any connection with God’s given dignity by convincing us that it does not exist.  Evil declares it is our destiny to take the reigns of life in our own hands. It may be private or secluded in our immediate circles of life or it may be to the magnitude of a Jared Lee Laughner.  Evil desires to destroy one soul at a time but if in destroying one it can take many others along, even better. 

This is the evil in the world that Jillian and I have been called to confront.  Evil that attempts with powerful determination to eliminate the glory of God in all of us.  Sexual abuse is his most potent weapon.   Here’s the good news:

“These things I have spoken to you that in ME ALONE you may have peace.  In the world you have tribulation, but TAKE COURAGE; I have OVERCOME the world…In all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loves us…But thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ…We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves…He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with ME on MY throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne…”

At Grand and Central Avenues in Chicago 1942, a love affair began.  And what a journey it was.  Chuck and Hope Sampson, my father and mother in law had the love story of the ages.  Married at  in 1946, theirs was the storybook romance.  Totally devoted to each other and their five children they walked through the years eyes fixed on each other and the Lord.  Last Saturday evening they celebrated their 64^th wedding anniversary in the quiet home where mom was staying.  The last two days her family gathered round her as time was slipping away.  Today after many visitors mom and dad were alone and dad was whispering and softly singing into her ears.  Holding his precious Hope in his arms, she quietly slipped away to the Savior.  Only the Lord could write this story.   We are all blessed to have been a little part of their story.  Bless you both.

I nervously pushed the door bell and waited for someone to respond.  Moments later the door squeaked open and excitedly she pushed open the screen door and pulled me inside.  With a big excited smile she pulled me in for a hug and said,  “I am so excited…can I see the ring?”  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small velvet box and opened it.  Her eyes grew wide and she looked me in the eyes and said, “I am so glad you will be part of our family.”

Today I am sitting in a dimly lit room now 36 years later and reminiscing with one of God’s treasures.  Jill’s mom is quietly waiting for her Lord to come and take her home.  I have so many wonderful memories of her smiling face and unending encouraging words.  Countless times she affirmed me and encouraged me to press on.  Her winsome and gracious spirit reached down deep into my soul and now I treasure the times I was near her.  Her faithfulness to God and family is a legacy I and my family will cherish.  I am blessed to be with her daughter every day and grateful she was a friend, a confidant, and a mom.  I applaud her promotion and her faithful life.  This world is a better place for having her here.

What a day.  Since I awoke this morning I anticipated the airing of the Oprah episode Jillian and I were blessed to be a part of two weeks ago.  I thought experiencing the program in person was intense.  This afternoon as I watched it again, it was without the distractions of the studio and the moment.  I watched it for what it was, an amazing hour that this country has needed for many years.  God bless Oprah for her courage and foresight to see the need to expose this and to do it.

It is evening here in Arizona and already I have received e-mails and phone calls in response to the show.  Men are feeling the need to let it out, to face the past for the first time, and to walk into the pain.  To be just a little farther down the road than others on this healing journey I am eager and excited to be here for my brothers that need a listening ear, and understanding heart.  Today has been about uncovering a lot of pain across the country…and today is about the beginning of lots of healing.  Praise God we can hold on to hope.  The battle is just beginning.

Last week Jillian and I were part of a historic moment in television history. Two hundred men assembled in the Harpo studios in Chicago to proclaim to the world that they were survivors of childhood sexual abuse. In her final season Oprah Winfrey is making a statement that the time for silence is over. Together with Hollywood producer Tyler Perry, Ms. Winfrey dedicates two upcoming shows to exposing the shame and silence male survivors face around the world. Since her program began twenty five years ago Ms. Winfrey a sexual abuse survivor herself, has had the courage and determination to raise awareness on her program for women. This time, she boldly walks with men on the program who have suffered horrendous evil and come out the other side on the road to healing. She is to be commended for going where no other TV program has ever dared to go. I was honored to stand along with the other survivors in the studio and celebrate the joy of freedom in taking back the power I lost as a child. I urge you to mark your calendar for both shows that will air on November 5th and 12th. Click here if you would like to read about our entire experience in Chicago. It is a chapter from my upcoming book Joree; A Broken Reflection of God’s Glory and is entitled, Joree and Oprah

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Last August I had the opportunity to connect with the Oprah Winfrey show about an upcoming program regarding male survivors of childhood sexual abuse.  Today the show contacted me about being a guest with other survivors to share stories of hope and healing.  The show will be taped on October 20th and aired soon after.  While it would be exciting to be able to share on the show, it will be an honor to be there to show support and share the journey with fellow survivors.  I am prepared to share if given the opportunity.  Keep the ministry in prayer as this would certainly be a boost for where we are headed.