Bill Harbeck's Blog

Sexual Abuse seeks to destroy the glory of God’s design.  It is sinister.  It is rampant.  It is evil.  It is ignored.  The latest on the list of deflectors is the gregarious sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, Joe Arpaio.  It was reported this week that the sheriff’s office has ignored over 400 sex crimes including cases of child molestation.  The sheriff answered the charges this week by saying, “If there were any victims in these crimes, I am sorry for any suffering they may have experienced.”  Really?  If, there are any victims?  The sheriff went on to defend the office behavior by saying that many of the  victims withdrew their charges, and people left the state, and on and on.

It doesn’t matter the community, the agency, the media, or the public domain.  Sexual abuse is ignored until it reaches a tipping point.  For a few days there is outrage in the media and culture.  Disbelief that the Jerry Sandusky, Bernie Fine, and Joe Arpaios of the world have risen to the level of dozens of victims.  It is well documented that Pedophiles have 400 victims in a lifetime.  Silence..silence…silence….

Hope is faith in the past…faith is Hope in the future…Sexual Abuse must be addressed one survivor at a time.  Holding on to Hope Ministries secured a home this week that will be up and operating in the next three weeks.  It is a place for men to spend however long it takes to confront the past abuse and begin to heal.  Jillian and I have been praying for this day.  Our Lord is so kind.  We are calling it the “HOPE HOUSE”.  Pray with us.  Believe that we can make a difference in this plague.  Believe we will confront evil and replace it with the hope of grace and love.  Join us in the fight…

This morning it was reported that a 67 year old math teacher was fired for sexually molesting two boys over 30 years ago. The alleged incidents took place at an all boys college prep school in Phoenix, Arizona.  The police refused to investigate the allegations because the school refused to release the identity of the victims now in their forty’s.  It is not clear yet if the school had just cause and enough information to make the decision to release the teacher.

A local radio personality commented that if the allegations are true, it seems that “this is everywhere”. Even if the allegations are not true, he is correct, it is everywhere.  Enough celebrity types and newsworthy communities have come forward recently to validate the truth and the issue is in the public square.  But the media is not about solutions.  It is about momentary sensationalism.  It will play out as long as there is enough interest.  There are no solutions offered to the evil behavior, nor any assistance suggested for the survivors, when the smoke clears, the status quo remains.

What may be even more disturbing is the question as to the validity of the charges.  If the allegations prove to be untrue the media will once again just serve as the purveyor of cynicism toward the most crucial issue of our time and relegate it to the dark shadows of shame and disgust.

Yes, it is everywhere.  Yes it is destroying the foundation of everything.  Yes, ignorance and shame will continue to hold exposure of childhood sexual abuse hostage.  Yes, the media is totally inept at providing solutions.  Yes, there is hope for healing; it rests in the hands of the wounded one.

It has been just two weeks and the Penn State story has faded from the headlines.  News cycles are about the moment.  They survive on sensationalism.  The allure of intrigue requires an endless stream of titillating 24 to48 hour stories.  Then as quickly as they come, they disappear.  There is little regard for the damage, little recognition of consequences, and little compassion for the endless number of souls impacted by the coverage.  Only the moment matters to the media and consequently the culture.

Observe any major disaster and the similar patterns prevail.  Immediate shock, sensational attention, finger pointing, blame shifting, questions of doubt…9-11…Columbine…Gabriel Giffords…Penn State…here for a moment, gone tomorrow.  But the wake…the wake that is left behind.

Will the incredible prevalence and horror of sexual abuse just fade back into the landscape? Will there be a concerted effort by anyone to keep the dialogue current? Is there any hope that community leaders, churches, counselors will rise up in a collaborated effort to do rescue and healing? Or, will once again the public breathe a sigh of relief that this time the light didn’t shine on its community? Sadly, the uncomfortable, awkward feelings will be tucked back away behind the masks and life will go on as usual, in a clouded state of illusion.

For just a brief moment, the survivors of Penn State and the millions of others in this country could speak out safely. It was a narrow window of opportunity for protectors to step up and battle for the wounded.  There was outrage, calls for accountability and justice.   What about tomorrow…and next week…and the years ahead filled with pain for all the survivors.  Penn State is once again a chance for a beginning.  A golden opportunity to address the magnitude of this evil and fight.  I pray a few more will hear the voice of truth and the promise of hope.  I fear deaf ears, fearful hearts, and shame will shuffle it all back to the shadows.  Help keep the fight out in the open…

Penn State is a mirror of the culture at large.  Penn State is a family.  In a family the adults have the responsibility for the protection and betterment of children or younger adults.  No different at an institution.  The adults are charged with developing trust as they impart wisdom and model values that make for the betterment of the family at large.

Sexual Abuse is perceived by the culture as the isolated behavior of deviants with mental
illness.  The shame of the subject eliminates it from public discussion.  The perception is that it is limited in scope.  The truth is that this is not about perverts lurking in the bushes in forest preserves.  When the Jerry Sandusky’s of the world are exposed the society is forced to confront the issue.  Once again the truth is that there are over 50 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in this country.  The truth is that nearly half of the abuse occurs in families away from public scrutiny.  Perpetrated by the adults that are entrusted with the protection of children be it in a nuclear family, a school family, or
a church family. The evil nature of this is that the ones trusted are the perpetrators and the ones violated believe they are to blame for the abuse. Both suffer from debilitating shame and cower in silence.  The thought of the evil invokes shame in the community…the result…the fantasy that it doesn’t exist.  Therefore we can just pretend it isn’t there and it will go away.

What about all those victims?  Their lives, their families lives, their communities lives will all be affected not for a few days, but for the rest of their lives. Multiply that by millions.  We as a society have neglected and continue to neglect the survivors.  Graduate school counseling programs across the country do not have a single class in their curriculums for recovery of sexual abuse.  Seminaries, enforcement academies all fail to accept the truth.

Maybe Penn State will be a start. A new beginning to gather the courage to go beyond the
ignorance of denial.  Courage to embrace the millions of wounded and begin to dialogue on the need for long-term healing.  Courage to confront evil with the hope of truth.

Jillian and I have been praying and expecting this day.  Once again, ambivalence hangs like a cloud over the country.  It is encouraging to see that the issue of sexual abuse is front and center as a result of the Penn State unveling,  but discouraging to learn of  the pain so many have experienced.

There is universal disgust in the media, on the street corner, and in coffee shops about the allegations against Jerry Sandusky, the Penn State Football program, and the University.  How could this happen?  What kind of person could do such a thing?  What is wrong with our world?

It is evil’s desire to destroy the glory of God.  This is pure evil and Penn State is the tip of the iceberg.  It is in every community and it has been forever.  Now, the shame is on a large platform and the question will be, are we going to address this seriously or not?

I had the honor to share my story on Family Life Radio the last three days nationwide.  Until last Sunday I have received very few inquires on our web site.  Today they  are streaming in and each story while different in location, is similar in consequence.  People suffering for years and years. Spouses, brothers, sisters and friends have lived liftetimes of silence and pain. The world has pretended the issue doesn’t exist.    Praise, God the truth is getting out.  There is hope for healing and the millions will start reaching out for help.

Unfortunately, the counseling community, the church community, and  community in general is not ready for what is coming.  Millions of survivors are going to begin to speak out.  Who is going to be there to pick up the pieces?  Jillian and I have been preparing and praying for this day to come.  We are here and ready but a literal drop in the ocean of the healing army that will be needed.  Pray for the work.  Tell your community that we are here to help. Have the courage to confront the evil.  Celebrate with us that the light is emerging from the tunnel.

You can hear the Family Life Interviews by going to www.holdingontohope.org.  Please share them with your friends and communities.  Evil cannot win…

Sexual Abuse and Internet Pornography is a rampant plague of evil that is interwoven throughout all of society.  

The damage to the soul caused by sexual abuse and internet pornography if left unaddressed may incapacitate survivors for life 

Fear of exposure produces silence in survivors of sexual sin;   toxic shame silences the culture.  The perception is, no problem exists.

I am presenting this week at the Coalition of Prison Evangelists on the Nature, Prevalence, and Damage of childhood sexual abuse.  On my way from the airport to the convention center a breaking news story came on the radio several times.  50 men and 1 woman were arrested today in a sting operation here  in Orange County, FL.  Each one arrested responded in person to an advertisement on the Internet for sex with children.  The announcer emphasized in each report that one of the men was Michael David Lee, a youth pastor from Eastland Baptist Church.

50 men and one church is only the tip of the iceberg.  They were the only ones caught.  I can’t even venture a guess at the actual number of children being victimized.  As Jillian and I prepare to secure a home for survivors to travel the road to healing, I am daily perplexed by the blind eyes.  Wake up church.  Wake up schools.  Wake up communities.  Pass me off as an overly passionate crazed fanatic.  This disease is destroying millions.  I will pray for listening ears, and open hearts and courage to face the truth.

Our Lord and the Spirit are so kind.  For me, autumn is the best time of the year. Unfortunately, living in Arizona I miss the season.  Today I took a hike through the forest of the rolling hills of North Georgia.  It was a perfect, sunny, crisp, cool morning.  One of the paths came to a sign that read, “Trails end”.  Someone had placed a bench there made of logs.  I sat in the silence for as long as I could.  I wanted to stay there longer.  The aroma…the blending colors of greens, browns, and brilliant reds. Birds serenading…and squirrels scampering.  Everything I treasure about the special moments of the fall was present.  Silence and solitude.  The Spirit speaks so clearly when the distractions are gone.  I didn’t want to leave.  I was enjoying a moment of heaven.  Imagine what it will be like.  Come quickly Lord.

I had the privilege of sharing with some incredible high school students this morning at Joy Christian School.  For the last three months I have been actively pursuing employment to relieve Jill of the stress of the work place and the burden of concern regarding health care.  I heard someone say recently, “If you want to make God laugh…make plans.”  To date I have never acquired an employment position through application.  Two weeks ago the Lord opened a door to step in as a Bible teacher at Joy Christian School here in Phoenix.  Once again, my Lord reminded me who writes this story.

This morning 200 high school students granted me a gift in allowing me to share my story with them and join them in the battle of sexual abuse and pornography.  They stand on the front line of a culture  that has collapsed from moral decay.  And I believe they will demonstrate the courage to step up and fight.  Pray for them.  The journey will not be easy.  God bless you…keep the faith…

I returned last night from a three day trip to Albuquerque and Las Vegas with ACSI.  In two of the meetings I was able to share with Christian School administrators about the epidemic of Sexual Abuse and Internet Pornography.  There is a stirring out there of visible concern and unending accounts of broken boys, fathers, teachers, families and more from the destruction of Internet Pornography.  And still…silence.

In Las Vegas I spoke at a Marriage and Family (Masters Level) counseling class at the University of Phoenix.  Midway into the presentation I faced silent, awestruck faces.  I asked them if in there 60 hours of required course work, will they have a class on intervention therapy for survivors of childhood sexual abuse?  With a combination of confusion and shame they replied…”not one”.

In New Mexico a gentleman who will graduate with a degree in Counseling from Western New Mexico State University this spring told me not only has he not had a class, they never discussed it as an issue.

FOLKS…there are 60 million survivors out there.  You know at least one.  You know that this issue is rampant in your community.  SPEAK UP!!!  Even if we can save just one it is worth the effort.

I sense the time is near.  Join us please.  Talk to your pastors, neighbors, friends, family and at least put the issue on the table in your community.  We are here if you need us.

Every morning I am greeted by the world’s greatest smile.  My daughter Joree has   many special needs.   Shortly after dawn I amble into her room and start some music on her CD player.  Within a minute she is vocalizing to the music, sharing shrills and shrieks of laughter and joy.   In 21 years she has never risen any different.  She has only a few words she can communicate but an endless number of sounds and giggles.  Every morning…every day…45 minutes of pure joy and laughter before she heads off to her day program.

Today, I was struck by that joy.  I don’t believe Joree comprehends what emotions are.  She will cry when she is in physical pain.  She gets annoyed with a few simple circumstances.  The majority of her day she exhibits joy. How can that be?  One would assume that in her condition there would be anger, depression, or anxiety.  Instead, it is laughter, smiles, shouts of excitement.  I don’t believe she understands that she has a sinful nature. Why doesn’t her sinful nature show itself?  Why isn’t she mean and demanding?  Why  is the sinful nature we all struggle with everyday not part of her behavior?

In a word…compassion.  I also believe that my Lord knows Joree’s heart.  His eternal, unconditional love, and His unequaled compassion hold her heart in His every day and all she knows is JOY.   I look at Joree’s disabilities and I see pain and suffering and despair.
Jesus sees Joree with nothing but love. I think Joree has it better than all of us.